FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
