God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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