dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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