a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize
