im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
