i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
