You work out of a Hotel?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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