Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize