I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
