I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
