yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
