Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
