you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
