k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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