I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
