It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
