??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
