Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
