ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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