My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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