I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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