Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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