i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
