If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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