One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
