The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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