You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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