dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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