I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
