Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
