Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
