final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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