Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
