I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
