maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize