Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
