Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
