I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
