His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
