Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
