This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
