READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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