I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize