She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
