Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
