we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
