So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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