put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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