He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I will be naked everywhere
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
