so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
