I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
