i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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