ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
