he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize