you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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