i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
