kristin has been a bad kristin
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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