Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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