some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
