could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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