We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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