goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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